another funny little game
from gargoyle13
another funny little game
from gargoyle13
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Places to Go...
...People to Eat |
Class? Yes. Please, sit down. Welcome to the Little Red Ghoulhouse, I'll be your teacher todays, Ms. (and thats pronounced mizzzzzz.. show your teeth when you say it, very good, Wolfie.. ) Ms. Crabtree. And I'll be giving you a quick overview of Pumpkin Town and its surrounding environs. Please Excuse all the confusing diagram above for just a second and fix in your head (and put those pliers away Johhny Crossbones).. or whatever you have for a head, Yes .. that Pumpkin Town is more than just a town. It is in fact, our own little world. Take a look at this dice... (She tosses a rather creepy looking six-sided die to you) If you hold it this way, Pumpkin Town is right there on the one-skull pip, right on the top. See? Its just like that. Somewhere inside the Die is the Creepy Catacombs, and down near the bottom is Pumpkin Town Hell. Now we never want to go there, do we? Not unless its a birthday party, yes yes. thats what I say.. Now turn the die so you are looking straight down on the top of it. Pretend you are a Bat flying high over Pumpkin Town. In the middle is Pumpkin Town, and Cauldron Point is just to the North. Tentacle Hill is to the Upper Left, the Graveyard is to the right.. its just as its shown on the map dearies. You can take a look for yourself. |
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Pumpkin Town. Well, naturally this is the place to start. This is an All-American Main Street kind of small town.. It might be Anytown, USA - nevermind the walking corpses in the streets and the suspicious stench of Smarties and Pixie Sticks that permeates the air. A Few Places of Interest
Main Street is actually a cobbled road. There are very few cars in town so the majority of the traffic is foot-traffic or animal-drawn vehicles of some sort ( a Spider-Drawn cart or Madame Wu's Rickshaw for example.) Use your imagination or whatever suits the scene to describe the traffic here. The ApotheScary is the main meeting place in town, strangely enough. Its a place where townsfolk gather in the mornings to chat, and it maintains a small drug-store, candy counter and a place for less conventional medications ( potions, hexes, etc). It is run by the one and only Auntie Hex, the Witch who seems to know every bit of gossip in town. Bookstore of the Damned The sign over the door reads 'Clive Staples Wormtongue, Proprieter' and the sign out front usually has a deal or two to be made on a Musty Tome or something equally mysterious. If you have a magic-using character you may want to stop in and chat with Mr. Wormtongue. Aside from the ample supply of ancient books and forbidden knowledge (always available at low low prices!) Mr. Wormtongue runs a discreet side-trade in Curios and valuables from the other side. Vladicov's Night Grocery Oh What is it with these foreign bloodsuckers and their damned little grocery stores? Vladicov certainly doesnt mind staying open all night of course. and when you absolutely need that fix of Yum-Yum Pop or Death-Rock Candy during the Night Shift the other places just aren't going to be open. Vladicov realizes the danger of being open during a shift when crime and destruction run rampant, but he's got a pretty good deal running with the Skeleton Krewe and Queen Knuckles. Anything bad that happens gets fixed, one way or another. This is the place to buy stuff. Vladicov's really does have a little bit of everything. GM Note: A little Schtick to play when characters come to Vladicov's- He has everything, but 2 times out of 3 it's not exactly what the players were looking for. For Example: If they come looking for a shovel, Vladicov might have a pick to sell, or he might be having a sale on spoons. Don't make Vladicov's impossible to use, just make it interesting. And note that nothing else is open during the Night Shift! The Yum Yum factory It's big. Its in the center of town. Whether you know it or not, you probably work for the Yum Yum factory in some capacity or another. Actually the Yum Yum Factory comprises a big Office building, Research and Development (researching new candies and whatnot, currently they are in a slump), a Sugar Refinery and a Packaging and Shipping warehouse guarded like an iron fortress. The Yum Yum Factory is active during both the Twilight and Night Shifts except for the one holiday. Its a dead end job. Its the epitome of all dead end jobs. Why work there? Geez, what else are you going to do? The Little Red GhoulHouse This is the only schoolhouse in Pumpkin Town. Its a little red one-room school house that all of the younger residents of Pumpkin Town Attend. It is run by the strict yet fair Ms. Crabtree. (Thats 'mizzzz Crabtree' there now. Yes, show your teeth when you say it.) Ms. Crabtree tolerates no nonsense and she'll throw you over her leather-clad knee and give you a good hot spanking if you sass her. Or if she just feels like it. Tread softly. Bring an apple. Mother Night Boarding House New in town? Don't know where else you ought to stay? Everyone's got to have a home. The Mother Night Boarding House has room for all. Mother Night is especially cordial to new visitors and her freaky mutant monkeyboy bellhop BimBim is perfectly willing to help you settle in. Anyone who isnt specific about where they live during character creation should probably start the game as residents of Mother Night's. Meals are at 11, no midnight snacks, and do clean up that blood before you come to the table. Sock Puppet's Broken Toy and Loose Candy Emporium Now, Sock Puppet's place is a little freaky. It is defintely the best selection of Candy in town, and it also has an apparent monopoly on the 'foreign candy market'.. that is, Candy that was not originally manufactured by the Yum Yum factory. Some of these pieces are collectors items or especially rare pieces (The Atomic Fireball of Hiroshima, Chocolate Essence of Curdled Death, and the ever sought after Blow-Pop of Immortality). The Broken Toys are more of a side market but theyre popular with some people. Broken Toys just seem to eventually end up over at Sock Puppet's place where they are rehabilitated and reanimated by Sock Puppet and his ever-growing minion of shambling Toy Nightmares. Why? Don't ask me. Ask Sock Puppet. I dare ya. The Sweet Tooth Soda Parlor Popular with the younger freakshow, The Sweet Tooth is a place with ice cream, candy versions of all the things teenagers love (Candy French Fries? Candy Pizza?) and one Damn Loud Jukebox. Damn Kids. The Sweet Tooth is even open for the first four hours of the Night Shift, and a lot of teenage monsters like to cut shift and head down to the Sweet Tooth for fun. The place actually reminds me of a really strange version of Arnold's place from Happy Days. If you don't get that, I can't help you. Every once in a while one of the raucous monster teen garage bands in the area will perform at the Sweet Tooth Soda Parlor. Heck, one time GWAR even played there. Madame Wu's Opium Soaked Parlor of Dark Despair and Madness Out on the edge of town, only open for a few hours during the Night Shift, this is Pumpkin Town's one and only den of iniquity. Iniquity, I said! The Undead Ladies Temperance Society simply hates this place, but the chicks who work there are hot baby! Besides that, this place hosts many more less-than-savory entertainments for the conneiseur of true sin. Need a tattoo, a bottle of BloodSugarSexMagick Malt Liquor? a 40 oz. Saint Vitus Essence in a brown paper bag? a spanking? This is the place you want to go. Very popular with the criminal element. Really, I myself have no idea what goes on in there. Seriously. I'm a happily married gargoyle. The Hip Joint The Hip Joint is a smoking Speakeasy right across the way from Madame Wu's. They have crazy Bop music blaring all night, Chocolate champagne flows like .. well champagne. This is the happening place for all the swingingest cats in Pumpkin Town. And unlike Madame Wu's you don't have to be afraid to touch the walls. If you have a crime you want to plan or you want to get in touch with the Big Boss, your best bet is the Hip Joint. Plus its really Hip. And theres Dancing. No children allowed. The Pumpkinus Magnificatum. The Pumpkinus Magnificatum is this great glowing pumpkin that hangs suspended over Pumpkin Town. It actually appears to be connected somehow to the main smokestack of the Yum Yum Factory, but this may just be an optical illusion. Some of the more long-lived creatures and historians believe that originally the Pumpkinus Magnificatum was all there was. It gave birth to the very first residents of Pumpkin Town by itself, and these begat more and those begat more and then theres a big list of begats that I can never remember. Thats all probably a bunch of old-people BS, you know? Each day the Pumpkin is slightly lower on the smokestack than it was the previous day.. until it reaches the bottom- October 31st, Halloween. When the Pumpkinus Magnificatum reaches the bottom the Bone Ladder appears and travel is possible between Halloween Town and the Other Place. When The Pumpkinus Magnificatum is in trouble- all of Pumpkin Town is in trouble. GM Note: If you run a plot where Pumpkin Town itself as a realm is threatened or is under duress the Pumpkinus Magnificatum should refelct that: For example, instead of a big goofy Jack-O'Lantern Grin your players might notice a frown, or even a different expression. They may smell the stench of Pumpkin Rot or something. Be creative. Ahh, Pitchfork Farms! The sweet smell of freshly turned pumpkins, the gingerbread fields all in bloom. And the Undead Cattle. Who says that milk is spoiled? Oh its a little green around the edges, sure. But who do you suppose baked those cakes you and your friends have been eating.. why, thats good old fashioned home grown produce you have there. Nothing Like Farm Fresh Goods. Or Farm Fresh Bads if you will Oh those caves? They just lead down into the Sugar Mines. I hear theres a way from there into the Creepy Catacombs from there but I don't actually want to find out. Pitchfork Farms is an idyllic farm right out on the edge of Pumpkin Town and stretching over to the real edge. The Edge edge, if you get my drift. Careful with that reaping blade, now! Most of the workers here are handsome devils and visitors from below. Red and pointy, ayup, but personable.. and skilled gamblers. They just seem to enjoy working the charnel soil, and its a hell of a lot cooler than down below. A good portion of the Sugar Mine laborers are zombies: reliable plantation workers who never seem to complain and don't eat too much of the produce at all. Pitchfork Farms produces most (if not all) of the raw materials that go into the Yum Yum Factorys candy recipes. Besides the Pumpkin Patch, Gingerbread Field and the Sugarmines there are also milk-producing undead cattle, and even a smallish Marzipan Grove. Note that Pitchfork Farms is mostly open to visitors but theft or unauthorized procurement of Pitchfork Farms property is illegal and punishable by...death. Or a really harsh beating. Or imprisonment. Really it depends on the whims of whatever devil is in charge. In the extreme Northwest stands lonely Tentacle Hill. Like the Graveyard, various herbs and candies grow wild along isolated patches of Tentacle Hill. Licorice Whips, Hemlock, lollypop flowers, gumdrop bushes and so on can all be found in abundance along Tentacle Hill if you know where to look. It's a favorite spot for teenage monsters to go parking, and on the weekends there are often family picnics and moonlight strolls. At the top the ground undulates and ripples as if alive. Certain strange plants there (found nowhere else in Pumpkin Town) resemble eyestalks, pseudopods or thrashing tentacles. In fact Tentacle Hill is actually one giant sleeping cosmic Horror. But he's also a landmark, and besides he's too lazy to get up and do anything. One place- not exactly at the top, but very near, is without a doubt the scariest place in town- The UnHaunted House. The UnHaunted House has been on Tentacle Hill since anyone can remember. Unlike any other place in town it is very well-kept, with a neatly arranged green grass lawn, a white picket fence, and freshly painted shutters. The Welcome Mat in front of the door really says "Welcome" and the doorbell rings with a cheery ding-dong sound. The family that lives there are horrifyingly normal suburban parents with a beautiful teenage daughter and her younger brother. Mom likes to bake and make preserves- she bears a startling resemblance to Donna Reed. Dad works for the Yum Yum factory in advertising and promotions, and is somehow involved in the Candy Import/Export business that the Yum Yum factory operates. He drives a White Ford Taurus- the only modern car in all of Pumpkin Town. Every once in a while he makes business trips to the other side. They think Pumpkin Town is quaint. Nobody messes with them. It's the scariest place in town. Cauldron Point lies just north of Pumpkin Town's village center. Round a bend in the road and a wide vista opens up where you say this massive bubbly green lake. The lake- which is artificial- is rimmed with an iron edge and it actually resembles a giant cauldron, half-buried in the ground. (If you go down to the Creepy Catacombs you will see that Cauldron Point is actually a gigantic lake-sized cauldron buried in the ground). In the center of the lake is a floating island, (called Gingerbread Island) guarded by malicious Gingerbread Ogres and Gingerbread Imps. On that island stands the Gingerbread cottage of the witch mentioned in Lunch Lady Witch. Cauldron Point, like the Mucky Muck-Swamp is basicly a good place for aquatic characters to make their home. Apprentice Witches and Animated Candy Creatures might also make their home on Gingerbread Island, but its a very small place. Lunch Lady Witch also runs a small but affordable Bed and Breakfast on Gingerbread Island if someone just wants to visit Pumpkin Town. The Graveyard is located to the extreme Northeast. It is a sprawling labyrinth of tombstones, mausoleums, forlorn crosses and creaking wrought iron gates. It is the favorite of Pumpkin Town's Ghost population for obvious reasons.. but it is also a good place to search out certain rare herbs and candies that grow naturally in the wild ( Poison Hemlock, Peppermint Drop bushes, Sourball trees.. ). Every resident in Pumpkin Town has his or her own grave located somewhere in the graveyard (alive or dead- the grave is already there). In the event of a characters death he reforms down in Pumpkin Town Hell and must make his way back up through the Creepy Catacombs to the area underneath the graveyard. From there he must dig his back up out of his own graveyard before he can reenter Pumpkin Town. Finding any other way to the surface is not permitted. The Graveyard also has another use: It is used like a hospital for the residents: a sick or injured character can go to the Graveyard, and dig his way back down into his own grave and take a dirtnap. A dirtnap will heal just about anything. In general a character that uses this method to heal must spend the entire day sleeping in his grave, but they get healed up to full power at the end. Undead characters, ghosts and vampires and various fiends and such should probably make their permanent home somewhere in the Graveyard.
The Forest of Death stands to the East, actually a tiny patch of dense, black, awful woods; trees like tortured hands and contorted witch's claws reach for the sky. The ghosts of lost children, moss-covered skeletons, witches so malicious they can't even stand other witches, wolves, owls, bats, giant spiders and nameless malicious horrors all lurk in the Forest of Death. This is actually one of the outright scariest places in Pumpkin Town and one of the places where you will a feel a sense of total isolation and abandonment. This is a wild area. In addition to the outright lurking fear associated with the Forest of Death there are lost graveyards, ancient groves and gateways hidden in the shadows and secret undergrowth. One of these groves is the legendary Wood Between Worlds (Quick, Kids, C.S. Lewis reference!), a place where gateways to other worlds may be found. One of these Wood-Between Worlds gateways may be an alternate entrance to Earth.. or to worlds of your own choosing..Two things that happen in the Forest of Death: Only a skilled resident or native of the Forest of Death ( someone who picked up that as a skill during character creation..) can avoid getting lost if they stray off of the single candy-brick path that runs from the Abandoned Cathedral to the Graveyard. The other thing is that visitors and intruders are going to get chased at some point, by the Nameless Primal Dread. The Forest of Death is so named because it is the home of the cosmic entity known as the Nameless Primal Dread. This creature/entity has the ability to split the party with a hallucination oh his or her worst fear.. and then chase them down one at a time. Characters that refuse to run or try to fight (thus refusing to roleplay fear) will be cornered alone, killed and devoured away from their companions. GM's, be creative! Since death doesnt mean much in Pumpkin Town you won't have much choice in matters where characters attempt to resist roleplaying their own fears, so just face them with an impossible fight and bat them around until they die or suddenly get the picture. Characters that run will not be killed: The Dread only wants to feed on fear energy: if deprived he devours life force. In any case, the Nameless Dread is not a living entity or something that can be killed: it is simply the personification of fear. Characters who list the Forest of Death as their home are immune to the Nameless Primal Dread and may even be aquainted with it. Ghosts and 'already dead creatures' ( skeletons, mummies) may also be immune at the GM's discretion. The Mucky Muck Swamp, located to the Southwest is actually the largest realm of Pumpkin Town (not counting the Creepy Catacombs or Pumpkin Town Hell which are really on the inside of the cube). This swampy wasteland is very similar to the Forest of Death in a lot of ways. It is almost completely isolated and is one of the few places that can truly be called 'wilderness' in the Pumpkin Town Cosm. It is also similar to Cauldron Point, in that it is largely a big mucky swamp (thus the name) where nasty unknown things lurk in the shadowy water. Another similarity is that folsk often get lost in the swamp. This is not a magically bound certainty as it is in the Forest of Death (where the Nameless Primal Dread pretty much makes sure you get lost and seperated..) It's just a confusing place. And wet. And sticky. And it smells. Possibly the things one should emphasize most when traversing in, around, through or even near the Mucky Muck Swamp is the outright filth, the pollution, the stink and awfulness of it. In certain areas the water has taken on the consistency of tar or a sludgey syrup. In certain areas there are hidden springs where fresh syrup and licorice tar burbles right up out of the ground.. and roving teams of Yum-Yum Factory drillmen are always looking to lay claim to a Syrup Well. In other areas the water is more like.. water. And in those areas you might see the ghostly dinghy of Pirate Bill.. and the Undead BoneSharks that wait for unsuspecting Pumpkin Townies. A few hermit monsters live out in the isolated areas of the swamp as well, (similar to the Forest of Death, but these are a different sort..) They rarely get into town for fresh factory-made candy. A good way to bribe them is with a handful of something you can't make on your own. There may be interesting underwater areas of the swamp as well. by Jared Sorensen A run-down section of the town, Funland consists of a few dilapidated shops (The Grotesquerie being the only store kept in good shape) and a *mostly* abandonded amusement park and circus tent. The Funland 'hood is a pretty scary place at Night and is only visited by outsiders during Twilight due to the influence of the Clown Prince and his 2-Ded Crew, a gang of pixie-dust purveryors of the most malicious sort. The residents of this lower-class area are mainly clowns, circus performers and Freaks (looked down upon by many Pumpkin Town residents because they're not really monsters). Pixie Dust (sold in long, ranbow striped tubes) is a major market.and the stuff itself is highly addictive low-quality colored sugar, quite the vulgarity amongst Pumpkin Town's candy connesieurs. If your character is a performer or artistic type, then Funland is probably where you'll end up. If your character is a Freak like Murray the Wolf-Boy or Tiny Tululu the Bearded Lady, well, you'll definitely end up there. The Grotesquerie: An extravagant beauty salon run by Wanda and Rhonda, the Siamese Twins. Here at the Grotesquerie, the freaky and fashionable place themselves at the tender mercies of the bizarre proprietors. The twins can add hairy moles, warts and carbuncles with aplomb, making sure that every ghoul leaves looking more frightening than when they arrived. Blemishes and scars are a specialty, and their frequent visits to the ApotheScary have yielded some powerful potions guaranteed to grow extra limbs and eyes. Wanda and Rhonda are usually booked solid the weeks preceding Halloween and before the Pumpkin Town High School Prom, where the boys and ghouls often go to get their scales shined, their fur trimmed and their nails done. The Great Gandolfini's Palace of Prestidigitation: A tiny magic shoppe crammed from the scuffed floor to the moldy rafters with joy buzzers, magic wands, fake blood and every magic trick known to man. The Great Gandolfini is a wizened old man with an unruly shock of frizzy white hair and thick spectacles. He is *always* dressed in a tuxedo, tails and bowtie and doffs a cane and top hat when outside of his shoppe and speaks in a halting German accent. The Clown Prince and his boys have yet to claim the magic shoppe as turf, mainly because they're afraid of Gandolfini and his considerable arcane lore. The Tent: The Tent is where the poorer and less social residents of Pumpkin Town live. Many animal train-cars have been converted into small apartments and the still-standing carny booths have been similarly put to use. The Ghost Train, an ancient locomotive covered in chipped paint and rust carries Funland residents to and from Pumpkin Town proper. A round-trip ride costs one token, which everyone living under the Tent can afford, because the tokens are all leftover from the amusement park's better days. For a non-resident of the Tent to acquire a token is quite a difficult task indeed. Some residents will give tokens to those that can beat them at a particular carnival game like the Dart Throw or the Ring Toss. Of course, these people literally LIVE at these game booths... The Funhouse: The Clown Prince's domain is suitably twisted and frightening. Huge mirrors line the walls, distorting the images of passers-by and acting as secret spying ports for the Prince's gang. Besides the mirrors, the Funhouse is guarded by the 2-Ded Crew and various pitfalls and slide-traps (the Prince is big on slide-traps). Upon gaining entry, the visitor will find quite the posh residence - a full bar in the game room, a sauna and the biggest darn bathroom you've ever seen (with an equally large make-up mirror to facilitate the Prince's painted visage). Some of Pumpkin Town's less reputable celebrities like to crash at the Prince's pad including the mummified Wrap star Ghoulio and the vampiric actress/singer Bat Meddler.
Pumpkin Town Hell, located at the bottom of the Catacombs, is whatever mad cartoon hell you can imagine, complete with little red bastards shaking their pitchforks and dancing all over the place. Over in this lava-grotto you’ve got Shakin’ Sammy Hain and his Lucky Devils Swing Band.. and theyr’e playing ‘St. James Infirmary’. Theyre playing the Hell out of it. Over there you have human sould spilling through a giant hourglass, and a gigantic martini glass that’s been converted into a swimming pool for skinny-dipping succubi. Gambling. Houses of Illrepute.. and for the most part all you poor stupid souls can just sit there and suffer while it goes on all around you. Sleaze, baby.. and punishment.. all wrapped up in one. Every sin you can possibly imagine is happening right here, and there’s fire everywhere. I mean- use your imagination: big castles made out of bone and swamps of blood.. and no candy to be found. Except maybe Red-hots. Have fun. |