Some time ago, something bad happened. Nobody remembers exactly what happened, and the archivists at GigantoCorp are probably the only people alive who care. Suffice it to say, there are now two worlds: Inside and Outside. Outside is a blasted wasteland of poison air and acid rain, pits of radioactive sludge or toxic waste, and roaming packs of cannibalistic mutant zombies.
Inside, within the confines of the ultramegacorp called GigantoCorp, it’s not much better. Our CEO is a brain in a glass jar. Some of our secretaries aren’t quite human. The executives in upper management are all inbred morons with tailored suits and degenerate frontal lobes. The office supply room is like a dragon’s treasure trove (and equally well-guarded). And to top it all off, we’re out of coffee.
GigantoCorp: What the Fuck?
In GigantoCorp, you will portray one of countless employees of
the megalithic corporate entity referred to as GigantoCorp (sometimes
abbreviated here to GC because I’m too lazy to type it in all the
time or to write a macro to perform that menial task for me).
GigantoCorp, as its name would suggest, is the largest corporation in
the world. It also the only corporation in the world. Every single
product, from toothpaste to paperclips to machine gun ammunition, is
designed, produced, packaged and sold at GigantoCorp. Similarly,
everyone works for GigantoCorp...even the people who are unemployed.
Get it?
Now I know what you're thinking. Dude, how can there only be one company that makes, distributes and sells everything? That flies in the face of every economic theory on the planet.
So I say, "Dude. It's a game. It's not meant to model reality. In fact, the purpose of this particular game is to poke fun at reality."
So the question is: Well, exactly how big is GigantoCorp?
The answer: Really big. Over 600 stories tall and larger than most European countries, and that's only the main office building. When you factor in restaurants, malls, warehouses, factories, agricultural and mining operations and housing...well, you got one big-ass company. Put every industrial and retail outfit under one roof, all stacked up on top of one another...and that's GigantoCorp.
Inspiration: or, "If you're gonna steal, at least be sneaky
about it!"
GigantoCorp is a game built around the premise of a huge,
totalitarian corporate city-state. A de-facto prison colony where
there is no parole. A big-ass corporation that employs everyone. I
started this project with the sole purpose of creating a Dilbert RPG
(or at least something with a similar feel as there's no way in hell
that I could afford that license). Seeking to go far above and beyond
the ludicrosity (?) of Dilbert and his dysfunctional co-workers, I
mixed in a little Judge Dredd for a quasi-futuristic,
bigger-and-weirder-than-life appeal. Those are the main influences.
An unconscious influence has come from the great RPG Paranoia by Greg
Costikyan. This satirical gem was published by West End Games in the
mid-80's and dealt with a dystopian society run by a paranoid,
xenophobic super-computer. Cross Karl Marx with the Marx Brothers,
George Orwell with George Jettson and you'd get Paranoia (or
something very similar to it). I like to think of this project as the
Paranoia's cynical cousin, with Big Business taking the place of Big
Brother...Capitalism over Communism.
There's also a very funny novel called Headcrash by Bruce Bethke that deals with a gigantic corporation's MIS department that has obviously influenced my game. Go read it. Now.
Other influences, both overt and unconscious include Mike Judge's hilarious film Office Space, the animated series Futurama by Matt Groening, the BBC sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf and most likely others that I can't remember right now. Those of you have played HöL or have read it will see many similarities, though they are entirely coincidental. A friend of mine said this is like SLA Industries...
Fuck it. I'm a bad, bad man who hasn't had an original thought in his life. So sue me.
Oh yeah...please note that you'll also need to write up a D&D 3rd edition character for use during the game. You can be just about anything you want so go nuts and have fun. First, deal with your GigantoCorp character and then write up your D&D character. I'll explain later...
Perspiration: This is where the pain begins
GigantoCorp is the incorporated equivalent of, let's say, a
cockroach. Highly resistant to damage, can thrive in almost any
condition and virtually unchanged for millions of of years (more or
less). GigantoCorp is one great, big, self-perpetuating cockroach and
its mission, if it can even be thought to have one nowadays, is to do
one thing and one thing only: survive.
Up until now, the place in time that you're reading this, the Company has managed this one task quite well. Incompetent management, an openly hostile consumer force and a bickering army of bickering workers hasn't managed to slow it down. In fact, unless something really...well, GIGANTIC happens, the Company will be still be here a long, long time from now.
GigantoCorp, as has been stated, employs everyone...even the UnEmployable. Those with the requisite skills are given a chance to become hired as an Employee of GigantoCorp. Those without those skills are given the "position" as Consumers -- people who are paid by the Company to buy products sold by the Company. New Hires are given a test called the Standardized Employment Aptitude Test (also called the SEAT).
Every Employee in GigantoCorp works in his or her own Product Group, or PG. PG's are, in essence, small companies working within the corporate infrastructure of the Company and are responsible for everything from the manufacture of disposable toilet seat covers to machine gun ammunition. In order to escape (or possibly, to create) confusion, products are given the catch-all name "Widgets." And yes, there are different PG's that create the same kind of Widget. This is called competition. It's supposed to be healthy in a free-market economy (of course, this is anything but a free-market economy).
Within each PG resides several Departments, each with a specific function that it attends to -- from making sure the vending machines are always stocked (Operations), to designing and printing colorful brochures advertising the yummy confections available for purchase in said machines (Sales & Marketing). These Departments are fully described in the Employee Handbook, which you're probably either using as a) a footstool, b) a monitor stand or c) bathroom tissue for those toilet paper rationing days that pop up every month or so, but here is a general rundown:
Administrative & Human Resources (HR): Those with People Skills. Secretaries, office managers, HR hacks and switchboard operators.
Now a bit about the corporate hierarchy at GigantoCorp.
For the last...er, for a long time now, the Company has been run by various members of the Zigg family. Flagrant nepotists (look it up), the Ziggs have ensured their continuing leadership at GigantoCorp by keeping the power solely in the hands of the Zigg clan. With all the in-breeding going on, certain, how shall we say...genetic anamolies have begun to crop up now and then in the Zigg familial DNA strand. The current CEO, Mr. Furbish Zigg, was so physically dysfunctional that his brain had to be removed from his body and encased in a glass jar (actually a highly complex cybernetic "control bubble" but we'll keep it simple) and fed by a constant supply of nutrient-rich broth, electro-chemical impulses and whiskey sours. The CEO basically has control over most of GigantoCorp's activities, but its really more of a figurehead position, like that of the President of the United States, or the WWF Heavyweight Champion title belt.
The real power lies in the hands of the Board of Directors, a secret and shadowy group of individuals who determine what really goes on. More information about the Board will be available in the Executive Lounge -- for the Boss' eyes only!
The following diagram charts out the basic layout of the GigantoCorp hierarchal structure:
And yes, this structure means that all Employees have two bosses. Time for Deep Hurting!
Terms of Employment
As a possible employee in GC, you are required to fill out a
myriad of forms, waivers, agreements and applications. Once this
ordeal has been completed (hopefully within a year or so), you’ll be
given the GigantoCorp Standardized Employment Aptitude Test, or the
SEAT. This test has been painstakingly researched, written and
revised to ensure that you are Put In Your Place. As in, "The
SEAT…Designed by our Experts to Put You In Your Place. Another Fine
Standardized Test from GigantoCorp." Isn’t that chair comfortable?
Well, T.F.B. You’re going to spend the next six hours in it. Enjoy!
The type of character you play is a choice that, ultimately, you have no control over whatsoever. But get used to it, because in the bureaucratic nightmare of GC, you never have a choice. HR are the people who will decide where you belong and what you're good at. Of course, they might be completely wrong, but that's not your problem (well, actually no...that's not their problem. it most assuredly is your problem). Does this mean that your mild-mannered desk jockey could be dropped into a hardboiled SS Sweeper team? Oh, well I'm sure that would never happen so don't worry about it.
Attributes - Roll 1d20, assign each die roll to an Attribute
Girth (GTH)
Physical bigness, largness and strongness. Girth adds to any
damage you inflict with hands, feet, headbutts or handheld weapons.
High Girth is necessary for all beefy security guards.
*Dexterity (DEX)
Ability to move quickly and precisely. Also used to avoid attacks
and determine one's typing speed. Determines your Reflex bonus. High
Dexterity is good for crack-shot security guards or quick-fingered HR
personel.
Health (HTH)
Your level of overall physical fitness and emotional well-being.
Helps determine your Stress Points. Determines your Fortitude save.
Everyone should be Healthy.
*Intelligence (INT)
Raw, unbridled intellect. Modifies your total number of skill
points. Valued by the IS and ET departments.
*Wisdom (WIS)
Willpower and perception. Determines your Will save. Wisdom? In a
corporation? I know, I know...
*Charisma (CHA)
Charm, guile and chutzpah. Unlike other games, this is the
important attribute.
*When playing KillWorld VR, use these attributes for their characters' DEX, INT, WIS and CHA scores. If your attribute is 19 or 20, set your KillWorld character's attribute to 18 (before racial mods). If the attribute is 1 or 2, set your KillWorld character's attribute to 3. Why? I don't really know...balance or something. Hell, do what you want...
|
Attribute Score |
Skill Modifier |
|
1 |
-5 |
Stress Points (SP)
How well you can handle work-related stress. Modified by your
Health modifer.
Words-Per-Minute (WPM)
How fast you can type (with any accuracy). Equal to your DEX*5.
Also determines who gets to act first.
GigantoCorp Departments
The monstrously huge corporate entity known as GigantoCorp
employs virtually all the people left alive worth employing. Using
the SEAT (herein referred to as The Test), future employees are
carefully screened, studied and categorized according to talents and
skills, both actual and merely perceived by the crack staff of
Testing Control Engineers. So, after you’ve been pushed, filed,
stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, and numbered (to borrow a
phrase), you are given a full-time, life-time job in one of several
departments within GC’s corporate structure.
Departments
Choose a damn department and a Job Class. Hint: there's one Job
Class per Department. No, you can't pick a Prestige Class. Ass.
Administrative & Human Resources (HR)
These guys handle the basic flow of information between
departments, the administration, as it were (how clever!) – phone
jockeys, secretarial pools, receptionists, stenographers, and various
other HR people (like the fine folks that designed The Test). Usually
female (but not quite as gender-biased as S&M), almost always in
a bitchy mood, and usually packing enough GigantoCorp perfume to
warrant chemical weapon advisories in their vicinity. Try getting
office supplies from them…I dare ya. Just try…I’ll stand over here…
Emerging Technologies (ET)
Engineers haven’t evolved much in the past umpteen hundred years,
they’re pretty easy to pick out of crowds. Pocket-protectors, rumpled
shirts and scruffy beards are the norm. You can also smell them
coming a mile away, whether from over-powering body odor or the
delightful stench of charred materials from the test labs.
ET isn't all fun and games, though...these guys work hard *and* play hard. As a testament to their boundless energy and adeptness at time-wasting on a Herculean scale, ET has created a virtual world called KillWorld VR. KillWorld VR is part first-person shooter (ala Quake, Doom and about a million clones you've never heard of) and part computer role-playing game (like a computer MUD, a way for nerds to meet other nerds and engage in coversation and monster bashing, potentially with the added bonus of anonymous cybersex).
The KillWorld Virtual Reality Construct
The ET and IS guys put KillWorld VR together in a kind of
bi-partisan nod to saying "eat me" to the people in charge of
corporate policy. ET wrote the code and IS provides secure servers
and lots and lots of bandwidth (conveniently monitored by IS so
nobody's the wiser). So far it has proven quite popular with
GigantoCorp's engineers and other tech people and nobody from Upper
Management has figured out that it even exists. The KillWorld VR
populace is very cautious about adding new members to their sizable
virtual community and everyone who is a member keeps mum about the
whole deal. One word to X Division and heads will roll. Naturally,
the Wizards (the folks running the show) are quite paranoid about
discovery, but feel that the risk is worth it -- not only to keep
people entertained but also to thumb their noses at X and the other
Higher-Ups.
KillWorld VR is a virtual reality fantasy role-playing game. Participants create a character to play and then meet other character-players (also called player-characters) and engage in bloody death matches, treasure hunts or bouts of sweaty, badly-penned cybersex (also called TinySex, most likely because of...let's just call them "size discrepancies"). The player-characters mill around looking for gold (used to buy better weapons to kill monsters in order to gain experience points), experience points (used to increase your character's ability to kill monsters and steal their gold) and sexual partners while the Wizards (the KillWorld VR sysadmins...or did you skim that section?) monitor their activities and make sure everyone's "playing nice." Alas, power corrupts and absolute power, yaddah yaddah. Most Wizards are insane control freaks who would rather spend free time away from work logged into a computer lording non-existent power over total strangers who spend their free time playing a pointless fantasy game and dreaming of the day that they too reach the status of Wizard. It's a vicious circle.
Accounting (ACC) & Legal (LAW)
The bean counters and lawyers over in Accounting and Legal are
responsible for much of the paperwork you’ll encounter during your
tenure with GC. Mountains of purchase orders, non-disclosure
agreements and arcane scribbling on bits of napkin from a lunch
meeting. Whatever form they take, you will come to loathe these
sheets of paper like…like…something suitably loathsome. My advice?
it’s just best not to run into these folks.
Information Services (IS)
IS handles computer systems, network connections and assorted
technical crap that keeps GC running. Consequently, they have access
to your computers, voice mail and email. As personal encryption is
technically illegal at GC, the best thing you can do to safeguard
your data is to get real friendly with someone from IS and have them
firewall your personal data. It might cost an arm or a leg, but it
beats getting sent out for coffee…
Operations (OPS)
"Ops" makes this division sound a lot cooler than it is. The
folks in Ops run the mundane aspects of corporate life. Essentially a
division of glorified janitors, they make sure the floors are waxed,
the copier machines have enough toner and the bathrooms are stocked
with toilet paper. Ops also includes transportation, dental/medical,
grounds keeping and food service. Fun, fun, fun…one step above being
a Consumer. Barely.
Sales & Marketing (S&M)
Another female-dominated department, S&M’s job is to smile
nice, dress nice and basically look pretty whenever possible. They
handle the media in a PR capability, as well as advertising and such.
They also pretty much control what R&D gets to work on due to
their stranglehold on the X division (focus groups and market
research studies notwithstanding, these girls aren’t called S&M
for nothing…most have at least one executive wrapped around their
little finger, or at the very least, tied to their four-poster).
Remember kids: Sales & Marketing is pure Evil.
Security/Surveillance (SS)
Security in GC isn’t guys in white shirts with walkie-talkies and
black SUVs with flashing green lights. Security in GC is a cadre of
hulking behemoths with heavily-ridged brows, mangling implements of
bodily destruction and a severe case of Poor Impulse Control. This is
what happens when you score high on the Physical portion of The Test.
The less competent ones are just issued Mag-Lights and Tasers. Anyone
in SS with more than half-a-brain carries more weaponry than some
modern armies. Especially devious and rat-like security agents are
often placed in charge of the extensive surveillance system that
monitors employee interactions.
Executive Management (X)
The people up in X division are called many things. Most of them
not very nice and a substantial number of them begin with the prefix
mother-. The CEO of GC is…was…a guy named Furbish Zigg. He’s still
CEO, and has been longer than anyone can remember, but now he runs
the company from a glass jar filled with nutritive liquids. The only
part of Zigg left alive is his brain, and for some reason, the Board
of Directors has determined that Zigg’s brain is sufficient to run
the largely self-perpetuating juggernaut that is GigantoCorp.
Executives and the other middle-management suck-ups specialize in
rumor-mongering and ass-kissing and can be identified by their
expensive shoes, tailored suits and by their serrated,
triangle-shaped teeth that constantly regenerate -- oh wait, that's a
great white shark. These guys are more bloodthirsty.
Consumers
Not really a department, or even a position within GC. Rather,
this is the designation given to the most wretched of souls – the
Unemployed. The populace’s unemployment rate is mind-numbingly high,
and in exchange for certain liberties, the average Consumer sits at
home all day watching television and gorging himself (both literally
and figuratively) on the fruits of the labors of others. Naturally,
the Employed look upon the Consumers with a mixture of pity, disgust
and outright hatred. Consumers are given a weekly stipend by GC in
order to buy products that GC produces. Because this is a limited
amount of credit, the various departments and divisions within the
company are continually at war with one another to make sure that
their products end up in the Consumers’ shopping carts. Most
Consumers are obnoxious, boring, bored and terribly apathetic couch
potatoes. Those with some measure of ambition usually turn to crime
and bizarre hobbies in order to kill time.
Although exceedingly rare, ex-Employees or skillfull Consumers can rise above the Doritos crumbs and informercials of their squalid lives and become Consultants...the elite forces of the company, a group of independent contractors who answer to nobody save themselves. Viva la resistance!
Job Classes
|
Class Level |
XP's Needed |
Special Ability Rating |
|
1 |
1,000 |
+1 |
You gain experience points by doing stuff relevant to the current game and your employee character. I can't explain it any more than that...if you don't get it, I suggest you get a clue, a life, a job and someone to sleep with that isn't a character from Star Trek Voyager.
Administrative Assistant (HR)
Stress Dice: d6
Skill Points: (8+INT modifer) * 4
Class Skills: Bluff, Bribery, Decipher Text, Diplomacy, Forgery,
Gossip, Innuendo, Intimidate, Knowledge, Listen, Move Silently,
Office Lore, Open Lock, Perform (ahem), Phone Manner, Question,
Search, Sense Motive, Suck Up, Use Device
Special Class Ability: Hinder
Scientist (ET)
Stress Dice: d4
Skill Points: (6+INT modifer) * 4
Class Skills: Bean-Counting, Break/Repair Device, Concentration,
Decipher Text, Evaluate, Escape, Handle Animal, Knowledge, Search,
Speak Jargon, Spot, Use Device
Special Class Ability: Make Thing
Accountant (ACC)
Stress Dice: d6
Skill Points: (4+INT modifer) * 4
Class Skills: Bean-Counting, Bribery, Concentration, Decipher Text,
Evaluate, Forgery, Knowledge, Question, Read Lips, Search, Speak
Jargon, Spot, Use Device
Special Class Ability: Repo
Lawyer (LAW)
Stress Dice: d8
Skill Points: (6+INT modifer) * 4
Class Skills: Bluff, Decipher Text, Diplomacy, Gossip, Innuendo,
Intimidate, Knowledge, Listen, Office Lore, Perform (ahem), Phone
Manner, Question, Read Lips, Sense Motive, Speak Jargon, Suck Up
Special Class Ability: Draft Contract
System Administrator (IS)
Stress Dice: d8
Skill Points: (4+INT modifer) * 4
Class Skills: Bluff, Break/Repair Device, Building Layout,
Concentration, Decipher Text, Escape, Knowledge, Speak Jargon, Spot,
Use Device
Special Class Ability: 3733T Status
Janitor (OPS)
Stress Dice: d12
Skill Points: (2+INT modifer) * 4
Class Skills: Building Layout, Escape, First Aid, Listen, Move
Silently, Office Lore, Open Lock, Sanitation, Search, Spot, Use
Device, Wield Thing
Special Class Ability: Skeleton Keys
Marketing Specialist (S&M)
Stress Dice: d6
Skill Points: (4+INT modifer) * 4
Class Skills: Bluff, Diplomacy, Gossip, Innuendo, Office Lore,
Perform (ahem), Sense Motive, Speak Jargon, Suck Up
Special Class Ability: Flirt
Security Guard (SS)
Stress Dice: d10
Skill Points: (2+INT modifer) * 4
Class Skills: Bribery, Building Layout, First Aid, Handle Animal,
Intimidate, Listen,Move Silently, Open Lock, Question, Search, Sense
Motive, Shoot Thing, Speak Jargon, Use Device, Wield Thing
Special Class Ability: The Badge
Prestige Classes
Executive (X)
Requirements: Recommendation from Supervisor, combined attribute
bonuses of +5 or LESS, Bean-Counting 6, Bluff 4, Diplomacy 6, Sense
Motive 4, Suck Up 8
Stress Dice: d8
Skill Points: 4+INT modifer
Class Skills: Bean-Counting, Bluff, Bribery, Diplomacy, Evaluate,
Phone Manner, Sense Motive, Spot, Suck Up
Special Class Ability: Hire/Fire
Consultant (X)
Requirements: Must be Unemployed, Decipher Text 4, Intimidate 4,
Knowledge 6, Speak Jargon 6,
Stress Dice: d12
Skill Points: 6+INT modifier
Class Skills: Bluff, Bribery, Decipher Text, Escape, Knowledge,
Listen, Sense Motive, Spot, Speak Jargon, Use Device
Special Class Ability: Unemployed
Skills
Figure out your starting skill points and Class Skills
(determined by your Job Class) and go to town. Skills not listed
under your Job Class cost double!
Bean-Counting (Int)*
Your ability to perform higher math, rapid calculations and long
division without a calculator.
Bluff (Cha)
Lying, more or less.
Bribery (Cha)
Grift. Payola. A little kickback. The grease that lubricates
society.
Break/Repair Device (Int)*
Smashing expensive things and piecing them back together. Also
deals with the construction of things.
Building Layout (Wis)*
Knowledge of the myriad nooks, crannies and crawlspaces of the
GigantoCorp offices, as well as the basic floor layout, location of
bathrooms and soda machines.
Concentration (Hth)
Your ability to maintain FOCUS.
Decipher Text (Int)*
Sometimes, the meaning of the written word isn't always clear.
This skill helps.
Diplomacy (Cha)
"Diplomacy is defined as saying 'Nice doggy' before you hit it
with a rock."
Draft Contract (Wis)$*
By making a successful Draft Contract roll, you can get just
about anything you want (if the right person signs the contract).
Target must roll a Will save and get a higher total than your Draft
Contract roll to avoid signing pen to paper.
3733T (pronounced: "elite") Status (Int)$*
All other users must bow before your awesome knowledge of UNIX.
All lame0r hax0rz must kneel before you if they are of inferior
Status (no Int modifer for this!). Also, on a successful 3733T Status
roll, you can take over the GM's position while playing KillWorld VR
for 30 seconds. Have fun.
Escape (Dex)
Being adept at sneaking out of meetings, dodging co-workers and
generally not being around when needed.
Evaluate (Wis)
Sizing up a person, object or situation with a glance and making
snap judgements.
First Aid (Wis)
Duh.
Flirt (Cha)$*
On a successful Flirt roll you can persuade anyone to do almost
anything by virtue of your feminine wiles. You have to be either
female or gay in order to use this special ability…hah. Target must
roll a Will save and get a higher total than your Flirt roll to avoid
your predatory nature.
Forgery (Int)
Faking a signature or document.
Gossip (Cha)
Spreading lies and vicious slander as well as hearing about it.
Handle Animal (Cha)
Ye art the master of all beasts, hoov'd and heel'd.
Hinder (Cha)$*
Successfully rolling your Hinder skill raises any one person's
next Escape skill roll by your Hinder ability score. You can also use
this to block any one action by making a successful Hinder roll.
Target must roll a Reflex save and get a higher total than your
Hinder roll to maneuver out of your meddlesome way.
Hire/Fire (Cha)$*
You may hire/fire or demote/promote (increasing/decreasing their
level by 1) any one person of lower level than you once per
day/level. There is no save.
Innuendo (Cha)
Wink wink, nudge nudge…say no more! Know what I mean?
Intimidate (Cha)
Being scary.
Knowledge (Int)*
Knowledge of a specific field. Like, obscure 70's bands.
Listen (Wis)
Spying, more like.
Make Thing (Int)$*
On a successful Make Thing roll, you can create any one object.
Doing so takes time and equipment but given enough of both, you can
make just about anything you want.
Move Silently (Dex)
More sneaky spy-type stuff.
Office Lore (Wis)
Knowing who's who and where they can be found.
Open Lock (Dex)
Duh.
Perform (ahem) (Cha)
Oh, you know. We're not talking about lute-playing here.
Phone Manner (Cha)
Being able to speak clearly and politely on a phone
Question (Cha)
Anything from pointed questions to brutal interrogations.
Read Lips (Wis)*
Useful when spying on closed-door meetings.
Repo (-)$*
Once per day/level, you can repossess any one thing from anyone
within the company, provided you have the necessary form and they
aren't a higher level than you. Forgey or a Lawyer's use of Draft
Contract can provide you with said paperwork.
Sanitation (Wis)
Cleaning stuff. Exciting.
Search (Int)
Like spot, but more focused and analytical. Good when
specifically looking for something.
Sense Motive (Wis)
You know when someone is feeding you a line of bull.
Shoot Thing (Dex)
Bang! Bang!
Skeleton Keys (-)$*
Once per day/level you may use your Big Ring o' Keys to unlock
any one door. There is no skill roll…you just do it.
Speak Jargon (Int)*
Whereupon this example of intellectual deftness is defined as a
skill and/or trait used to elocute using a particular flavor of
patois, jargon or terminology, possibly of an esoteric or arcane
sort.
Spot (Wis)
Like search, but more general and intuitive. Good for noticing
details.
Suck Up (Cha)
No…that's the Perform skill. This is more like general
brown-nosing and ass-kissing.
The Badge (-)$*
Once per day/level you gain add your rating in The Badge to any
attack or Intimidate roll.
Unemployed (-)$*
Technically, you're not an employee of GigantoCorp. Therefore,
you and all your belongings, personal affects, office space and user
accounts are incapable of being affected by the special abilities of
any Gigantocorp employee. You have 5d20 credits in your pocket.
Enjoy!
Use Device (Int)
Using devices. Like toaster ovens. Or nuclear reactors. Or PEZ
dispensers.
Wield Thing (Gth)
Smiting thine enemies
*Skills marked with an asterix (*) cannot be used unless you have at least one rank in the skill, sucka!
$ Skills marked with a dollar sign are Special Class Abilities and cannot be modified with skill points.
Alignment
All GigantoCorp employees have an Alignment...kinda. Rather than
the normal Good/Evil axis, we have something a little different:
Greedy: the employee likes money money money (and power)
and money.
Geeky: the employee is a big nerd. His interests lie in a
variety of subjects: computers, science-fiction.fantasy "literature"
and computer roleplaying games.
Horny: the employee is a bona-fide horn-dog. We're talking
enough sexual harrassment lawsuits to keep the legal department in
Cross pens for years.
Lazy: the employee isn't a big fan of hard work. "Arrive late,
leave early" is his motto, code and creed.
Angry: the classic disgruntled worker. Usually the guy who
comes to work in the camouflage fatigues.
We still use Law and Chaos because it's funny to say that your character is Chaotic Greedy or Lawful Horny.
Combat, Weapons & Damage
To attack someone, attack them. Add the appropriate skill (Wield
Thing, Shoot Gun) to your roll - your target to roll under is 10+
your target's Escape skill. Score a natural 1 and something horrible,
terrifying and hilarious (to everyone else) happens. Score a natural
20 and do double damage (after adding your weapon damage modifer).
Your Girth bonus determines how much damage you can dole out in hand-to-hand combat (armed or unarmed). When using a ranged weapon, you use your Dexterity modifer. For each point of damage you receive, you lose a Hit Point and a Stress Point, If you take enough damage to drop your Hit Points to 0, you're knocked out and/or die. Fun!
Note that killing someone will usually reflect poorly on your permanent record.
Chart o' Damage
|
Weapon |
Damage Modifier |
Damage Type |
|
Unarmed |
+0 |
Non-lethal |
STRESS!
You'll lose Stress whenever you're hurt, suffer from some indignity
or if you get pissed off by some moron's insensitive or idiotic
behavior. Small stressors (coffee stains on important documents,
social faux pas) dole out a d4 Stress. More serious stresses
(having a pen explode in your pocket, having to deal with an
obnoxious voice mail system) may give you as much as a d8 of Stress.
Really nasty stressors (getting harrangued by a superior, running out
of TP, having a virus eat your work from the past month) will net you
a d12.
Oh, and if the source of your pain is a higher level employee? Add the difference between your level and their level. Luckily, underlings are fairly inconsequential -- subtract the difference in levels if harrassed by a subordinate.
You'll gain some Stress Points will come back after a good night's sleep, a game of KillWorld VR, sex in a bathroom stall/broom closet, heavy drug use, etc...how much is up to the Boss.
If your Stress Points ever reach a negative number, you'll either die from a massive coronary or go postal and shoot up your co-workers (whichever is more entertaining for the Boss and the other Employees. Either way you'll leave the game making the world of GigantoCorp a better place to live).
Salaries
The last thing you need is equipment. You know, a 10' pole, iron
rations, a mirror and some of them door spikes. Of course, with the
exception of the door spikes (and possibly the 10' pole), your
typical dungeon-crawling equipment will be all but useless in the
hi-tech, high-speed world of Corporate Mayhem. Therefore, we'll just
assign you some credits based upon your job description and
competence. Find your department and roll the designated number of
dice -- multuiply this number by 10.
|
Department |
Salary Bonus |
|
Administrative & Human Resources (HR) |
2d20 x 10 credits |
Besides personal effects, working gear and money, all Employees of GigantoCorp start with one very important item: the GigantoCorp Employee Handbook. This massive tome is slightly smaller than the OED, unabridged, and is often referred to as The Bible in hushed, reverent tones by other Employees. So there, you have that too.
Termination of Employment
Employees who reach a certain age become Consumers and join the
rest of GC’s unemployed populace on the steady march toward
decrepitude and adult diapers. Workers faced with problems adjusting
or getting along with others might find themselves reprimanded or
even penalized by Upper Management. Standard punitive measures start
with verbal warnings and slaps on the wrist. Advanced cases escalate
to written warnings, demotions, salary "adjustments" and eventually,
the dreaded task of "going out for coffee." Basically, this is a
euphemism for expulsion from the company and thusly from the
company’s facilities. In case you still haven’t figured it out,
genius, this means exile to Outside, and all the magic that this
entails. Of course, some people would rather face the hordes of
ravenous mutant zombies than another day punching a timecard...but we
don’t know for sure. Nobody’s ever returned…and nobody sure as hell
ever returned with coffee.
Virtual Stupidty
When you and your co-workers decide to shelve work for a few
hours and get down to the nitty-gritty, put aside your GigantoCorp
employees for awhile and get out your D&D character. You
know...the busty elf chick with the magic bow or the Wookie
Stormtrooper with the blaster rifle? Whatever, man...it's your
character.
So now comes the fun part.
Whenever your GigantoCorp character plays KillWorld VR, you'll have them roleplay the D&D character you created. Now, you're required to roleplay your character as intensely as possible -- but they have no such compunction. So if you want your 40-something, bearded sysadmin to play that busty elf chick and use the word "dude" a lot and talk about your high DEX bonus in character, then go for it. Keep in mind that when running or playing a game of KillWorld VR, most of the NPC's are also employees...
Other than this character-playing-a-character (badly) concept, play the D&D game as normal (with occassional breaks into GigantoCorp reality when your manager walks by...). Acquire treasures, kill monsters, fufill quests and best of all...level up!
Authorized Use
Any person is hereby authorized to view
and copy the information available from this web server for personal
or educational purposes only, provided that each copy includes any
copyright, trademark or service mark notice or attribution as they
appear, on the pages copied. The information and materials may not
otherwise be reproduced, displayed, downloaded, licensed, modified,
reposted, retransmitted, disseminated, sold, distributed, published,
broadcast, circulated, used to create a derivative work or otherwise
used for public or commercial purposes, without the express written
consent of GigantoCorp and the relevant information providers. You
also agree not to use the information for any unlawful purpose. You
agree to comply with reasonable written requests by GigantoCorp to
protect the information providers' and GigantoCorp's respective
rights in the information.
Limitation of Warranties and Liability
THIS INFORMATION IS PROVIDED "AS IS" AND
GIGANTOCORP SPECIFICALLY DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND,
EXPRESSED, IMPLIED OR OTHERWISE, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, ALL
WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR
NON-INFRINGEMENT. THERE IS NO REPRESENTATION OR WARRANTY THAT THE
GIGANTOCORP ROLEPLAYING GAME OF CORPORATE MAYHEM AND OFFICE POLITICS
WILL MEET ANY USER'S REQUIREMENTS, STANDARDS, EXPECTATIONS OR BE
UPDATED IN A TIMELY OR ERROR-FREE MANNER.
REFERENCES TO ANY AND ALL PRODUCT GROUPS, PERSONS OR DEPARTMENTS, THEIR SERVICES AND PRODUCTS, ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED. IN NO EVENT SHALL GIGANTOCORP BE LIABLE FOR ANY SPECIAL, INCIDENTAL, INDIRECT OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OF ANY KIND (INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, LOST PROFITS, GOODWILL, TRADING LOSSES AND DAMAGES, INSOMNIA, GENERAL MALAISE, VENERAL DISEASE OR POSTMODERN ENNUI) OR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER RESULTING FROM USE OR LOSS OF USE OR DATA, WHETHER OR NOT ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE OR LOSS. GIGANTOCORP SHALL NOT BE LIABLE ON ANY THEORY OF LIABILITY ARISING OUT OF OR IN CONNECTION WITH THE USE OR PERFORMANCE OF THIS INFORMATION.
Descriptions of, or references to, products, services or publications within GigantoCorp's web server are provided for general information purposes only and do not imply endorsement approval of that product, service or publication. GigantoCorp makes no warranty of any kind with respect to the subject matter or products listed herein, or the completeness, accuracy or reliability of the information.
THIS PUBLICATION COULD INCLUDE TECHNICAL INACCURACIES OR TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS. CHANGES MAY BE MADE AT ANY TIME TO THE INFORMATION HEREIN WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE.
SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW LIMITATIONS ON HOW LONG IMPLIED WARRANTIES LAST, THE EXCLUSION OR LIMITATION OF INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES OR THE EXCLUSION OF CERTAIN IMPLIED WARRANTIES, SO THAT THESE DISCLAIMERS AND LIMITATIONS MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU.
Disclaimers
Under the TELECOM ACT OF 1999, minor CHILDREN (under the age of 18)
may not read or handle this page under any circumstances. If you are
under 18, leave this page NOW. Also, if you are developmentally
disabled, irony-impaired, emotionally traumatized, schizophrenic,
suffering PMS, affected by Humor Deprivation Syndrom (HDS), or under
the care of a doctor, then the TELECOM ACT OF 1999 may apply to you
as well, even if you are 18. If you fall into one of these categories
and are not considered competent to judge for yourself what you are
reading, leave this page NOW.
Under the UTAH PROTECTION OF CHILDREN ACT OF 1999, those under the age of 21 may not read this page. All residents of Utah, and Mormons elsewhere, are required to view this web page through GigantoCorp's Intolerance Explorer web browser.
Under the PROTECTION OF THE REICH laws, residents of Germany may not read this page.
Under the MERCIFUL SHIELD OF ALLAH (Praise be to Him!) holy interpretations of the Koran of the following countries (but not limited to this list) you may not read this page if you are a FEMALE OF ANY AGE: Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Egypt, Jordan, Sudan, Libya, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Algeria, Lebanon, Morocco, Tunisia, Yemen, Oman, Syria, Bahrain, and the Palestinian Authority. Non-female persons may also be barred from reading this page, depending on the settings of your web browser.
Under the proposed CHINESE INTERNET laws, covering The People's Republic of China, Formosa, Hong Kong, Macao, Malaysia, and parts of several surrounding territories, the rules are so nebulous and unspecified that I cannot say whether you are allowed to read this. Thus, you must SUBMIT any website you wish to read to your local authorities for further filtering.
In Singapore, merely by READING this you have violated the will of Lee Kwan Yu. Report to your local police office to receive your caning.
Finally, if you are barred from contact with the Internet, or protected by court order from being disturbed by thoughts which may disturb you, or covered by protective orders, it is up to you to adjust the settings of your web browser to ensure that this RPG does not reach you.
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR PATIENCE IN COMPLYING WITH THESE LAWS
No weasels were harmed during the construction of this role-playing game